Hey mom

All of the Christmas decoration boxes have been gone through and things are put up. I think you would like the way I decorated the house with a combination of my things and your things. I found the Christmas angel and she is now atop the tree. I cannot believe all the things you kept and it was so neat to find different things from when we were kids and reminisce and enjoy them again. I know you really enjoyed Christmas so I am trying to do what would make you happy. I was really looking forward to going to church service with you Christmas eve and I know you will be with me in spirit.

I really miss you every day and wish that we would have made the decision to have you come out here sooner but it just did not work out that way. I am happy to have had the time we had and will always cherish that time. I am glad that Jessica got to spend some time with her grandmother and get to know you better. I know she is glad of that too. I was very unsure about asking you to make the transition to living here but I just wanted to give you a sense of a home and a yard and give sophie a yard and some friends. I know my situation is a little chaotic but you accepted it with open arms and never complained. I am glad I got to be there for you even if it was tough sometimes. We both tried to make light of the situations that were thrown at us and I think we did pretty darn good.

Mike told me that the happiest he had ever seen you was the day before Brian and I got there to bring you home and that makes me soooo happy to know that. Thank you for giving us a little bit of time to be together. You and I were torn apart and that hurt but I think we fixed that and I just wish that we would have had more time to do the things we talked about like driving to see the wildflowers in the spring and going to Fredericksburg for peaches in the summer and especially going to the ocean. We talked about going down when they release the baby sea turtles and I will go for both of us. I know that you will be there with me.

Every day that I take the dogs for walks I know that you are there with us watching over us and watching over Sohie. I am trying to take the best care of her that I can and do right by you and I think she is happy.

Thank you for telling me that you were glad you made the decision to move here. That meant the world to me. You were never a burden to me and we would have figured everything out, it just takes time.

If there is anything that I can take from all of this and thank you for is bringing my family back together. I missed my brothers and we were so torn apart that I did not honestly think we could ever fix it but you being the great mom you were brought us back together and I thank you and love you so much for doing that.

My heart hurts for missing you and I wish there were things I could change but I know that I cannot so I will take what I have had and be blessed with that. I will take you with me to places that I go and I will share them with you. I just know that you are happy and healthy now and smiling down on all three of us and that you will help us along the way when we need it and be happy for us when we don’t.

I also know that you are in heaven taking care of any of my foster dogs or my own dogs that leave this earth and I feel great knowing that they will have you to watch over them until I get there someday.

Give everyone a hug for me and keep smiling down on us.

I love you so much and miss you so much

Have a Merry and wonderful Christmas.

Your daughter.

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